Author: GiantDildos

Bumblehooves – XL

I am so happy that Bad Dragon reworked (and upsized Bumblehooves). I had the original version but actually sold it because it wasn’t exciting enough. Much to my surprise BD announced that they were releasing a version 2.0 of Bumblehooves (see picture comparison below).

The new Bumblehooves is massive. With a nearly 4 inch shaft and a 4+ inch medial ring, at 15+ inches long it’ a darn great experience. My Bumblehooves is soft firmness and I’d recommend you also get a soft firmness, I had to look up what I bought because I thought I had a medium firmness but it’s soft so I guess Bumblehooves XL runs on the firmer side.

The only negative with Bumblehooves is that it’s a pretty blunt head so if you push it and ride it you may get sore more quickly than with other toys.

Like all my toys, I recommend you get him with a cumtube.

Rating: 4.5/5

Diameter Head – 3.13

Diameter Shaft – 3.88

Length – 15.5

Bumblehooves @ Bad Dragon

Bad Dragon BumbleHooves XL Dildo Review (updated model)
Bumblehooves (2.0) – XL

“Bumblehooves XL 2.0 is a worthy upgrade from the legacy model. Recommended in soft firmness with Cumtube!”

 

Bad Dragon Bumblehooves XL Dildo vs Bottle
Bumblehooves – XL vs Bottle
Bad Dragon Bumblehooves XL Dildo vs soda can
Bumblehooves XL vs soda can
Bad Dragon Bumblehooves XL vs Hankey's Toys Minotaur XXXL
Bumblehooves XL vs Minotaur XXXL
Bad Dragon Bumblehooves XL Dildo vs Flint XL Dildo
Bumblehooves XL vs Flint XL
Bad Dragon Bumblehooves Legacy vs new Bumblehooves
Bumblehooves Legacy vs Bumblehooves new

HiSmith Sex Machine

I don’t use the HiSmith as much as I used to (which is a lot) because it doesn’t work that great for the huge dildos I have. But for size “Large” dildos from

Bad Dragon it works very well. I have an older version of this machine (the only difference is that this uses a different connecter called KlicLock) and I’ve put many hours on it, truly an out of body self-pleasuring experience. The machine is heavily weighted thanks to its solid metal legs and metal frame which is means it’s very stable. For the larger toys you may want to find a wall to prop it up against to prevent it from sliding backwards but other than that it’s great. I haven’t had any quality issues on my HiSmith (it’s expensive so it should work) though I hear others with issues had them promptly remedied by HiSmith.

In order to use this machine effectively with Bad Dragon dildos you’ll need to get a double-sided suction cup from Etsy and one of these suction adapter plates for the HiSmith. 

If you want to use this machine with Doc Johnson toys or some of the Mr. Hankey toys (with Vac-U-Holes) you should check out the Vac-U-Lock adapter as well.

Basic HiSmith Machine – $419.99

https://amzn.to/3UQ9LA5

Double Sided Suction Cup (Large) – $45

HiSmith Sex Machine Review GiantDildos.net
HiSmith Sex Machine

 

https://www.etsy.com/listing/1007966617/in-stock-double-sided-suction-cups

HiSmith Suction Adapter Plate – $39

https://amzn.to/3HskcH9

HiSmith Vac-u-lock Adapter – $29

https://amzn.to/3FHujqw

Replacement/Longer Legs!

https://amzn.to/3XA9Ond

Baron – L

Baron is one of those toys where the large size could pass as an XL for most other toys. Given his looks (with the deep ridges) he is also one of the scariest toys to attempt, which is why I only have the giant large size and not the monumental XL size. Baron has a blunt slightly rounded head that gives way to a smaller shaft which you can feel every groove and ridge as it slides in and out. Because of the large head, the pop-in is noticeable. I have my large Baron in medium firmness, I’d recommend him in medium or soft depending on your preference, he’s not that long so medium works fine. 

Negatives: Large is very large, XL at 4.51 inch head diamter is probably not feasible without hurting yourself.

Dimensions from BD (inches):
Head (Diamter) – 3.94

Shaft (Diameter) – 3.85

Total Length – 11.5

https://bad-dragon.com/products/baron

Bad Dragon Baron L Dildo Review
Baron – L

“A large Baron is like an XL in most other toys”

Bad Dragon Large Baron vs soda can
Baron – L vs Soda Can
Bad Dragon Baron L vs 1 Liter Bottle
Baron – L vs Bottle
Bad Dragon Large Baron vs Large John Dildo
Baron – L vs John – L
Bad Dragon Bumblehooves XL dildo vs Baron L dildo
Bumblehooves (2.0) – XL vs Baron – L

 

Enema Bag – For Prep

An absolutely 100% necessary tool for anal users of giant dildos is an enema bag. This also includes douche so it can be useful for vaginal play too. This enema bag is cheap but effective, easily filled in the shower (be near a toilet). I’ve had no issues with microbial growth in the bag, clean after ever use and don’t let water sit in the bag. 

$10.49

https://amzn.to/3P5pNox

 

 

 

 

Anal Dildo Prep Enema Bag
Enema Bag

 

Luer Lock tip for Cumtubes

Big fan of Bad Dragon’s cumtube? You should seriously consider getting these Luer Lock tips to enhance your experience. These go into the provided cumtubes and then screw into the syringes that Bad Dragon provides with every cumtube toy. In my opinion, they are a must.

These are: RSN Lab Female Luer Lock 1/8″ 3.2mm PP Hose Barb 

10 Pack – $8.99

https://amzn.to/3VDOgDS

25 Pack – 13.99

https://amzn.to/3VzR19x

 

 

 

Best Cum Tube Adapter

 

John – XL

John is a great humanoid dildo. I’ve had John in Medium, Large and XL. I love Large John and XL John but I wish that I had XL John in soft firmness instead of medium firmness. He’s a pretty big boy and there isn’t much give in his medium firmness form. Shape wise, John is excellent, he has a great base (balls) that you can get your way down to and he is visually appealing.
Both of my Johns (I sold the medium) have cum tubes and I highly recommend that if you purchase it. 

Negatives: No negatives outside of firmness. XL and even large are more enjoyable in soft firmness instead of medium firmness.

Dimensions from BD (inches):
Head (Diameter) – 3.8

Shaft (Diameter) – 3.73

Total Length – 14

Check if John is currently in stock at BD

Bad Dragon John XL GiantDildos.net
John XL

“Highly enjoyable toy, recommend him in soft firmness”

 

John XL vs 1 Liter Bottle
John XL vs 1 Liter Bottle

 

Bad Dragon John XL vs Soda Can
John XL vs Soda Can
Bad Dragon John XL vs Ky'el XL
John XL vs Ky’el XL
Bad Dragon John L Dildo vs Bad Dragon John XL Dildo
John L vs John XL Size Comparison
Bad Dragon John Dildo Sizes
John Dimensions Chart
Bad Dragon John Dildo vs Chance Dildo
John vs Chance
Bad Dragon John Dildo Comparisons
John Size Comparisons
Bad Dragon John Dildo Character Art
John’s Character Art
Bad Dragon John Dildo Legacy Product Page
John’s Product Page

 

Bad Dragon John Dildo Story
John Fantasy Story

Chance Unflared – XL

Chance is probably Bad Dragon’s most well-known toy. They were the first that I knew of to make a serious horse-inspired dildo with and boy is he fun. I absolutely love Chance (and their newer horse-esque model, Vector), something about doing it with a huge dong like Chance seems so kinky that it’s an instant turn-on. The unflared version of Chance has a somewhat blunt head (nothing compared to flared Chance) that leads to a smaller section of a very long shaft which gets wider as it goes. I have had Chance in soft and medium firmness, while I liked the soft firmness he wouldn’t stand on his own so I bought a medium firmness Chance instead. With practice you can hilt Chance which is amazing sensation, he really goes deep, and if you get him with a Cum Tube like I did it makes for a really pleasing experience (if you’re into cum play). He has a smooth texture with veins and a medial ring as well as a large set of balls.

Negatives: I have no negatives to mention for Chance.

Dimensions from BD (inches):
Head (Diamter) – 2.77 

Shaft (Diameter) – 2.72 (more like 3 at widest)

Total Length – 17.5

Check it out here!

 

Chance Unflared XL
Chance Unflared – XL

“Chance is THE cornerstone toy, everyone needs a horse in their stable”

 

Chance Unflared XL vs Soda Can
Chance Unflared XL vs Soda Can
Lampwick Uncut 4XL vs Chance XL
Lampwick Uncut 4XL vs Chance (BD)
Bad Dragon Chance Unflared XL vs 1 liter bottle
Chance Unflared XL vs 1 liter bottle

Lampwick Uncut – 4XL

Lampwick was my first Hankey’s Toys dildo. I saw the longest dong I could see and I just had to have it.  At almost 20 inches in length this is the longest toy I’ve seen that isn’t a joke toy (like the Moby Dick) or something along the lines of those silicone tubes people use for extreme depth play. I wouldn’t say Lampwick is all that exciting aside from the fact it is so long. It’s hard not to get horny just thinking of sitting atop a 20 inch pole however. Lampwick’s rounded tip makes it relatively easy to insert despite its size (after lots of warmup) and the shaft itself is comfortable and filling. I’d recommend Lampwick Uncut 4XL for the sheer absurdity of this thing’s length and accompanying girth.

Like all my Hankey’s Toys I have this in 75% Soft, I’d recommend that firmness as it has a tiny amount of give but easily stands on its own. 4XL is the largest of the four sizes offered for the Lampwick Uncut.

 

Negatives: Like all the super large Hankey’s Toys the vac-u-lock style hole is pretty useless. The toy doesn’t stay at all on the suction cup so it’s really only good for suctioning the toy to the floor. This toy (at least my toy) will not stand on it’s own without the suction cup attached. 

Dimensions from MHT (inches):
Head (Diameter) – 3.53

Shaft (Diameter) – 3.66 (widest)

Total Length – 19.63

Buy Lampwick Uncut @ Hankey’s Toys

Hankey's Toys - Lampwick Uncut 4XL Review and size
Lampwick Uncut – 4XL

“The sheer size of this is absurd”

 

Lampwick Uncut 4XL vs 1 Liter Bottle
Lampwick Uncut 4XL vs 1 liter bottle
Lampwick Uncut 4XL vs Chance XL
Lampwick Uncut 4XL vs Chance (BD)
Lampwick Uncut 4XL vs soda can
Lampwick Uncut 4XL vs Soda Can
Lampwick Uncut 4XL vs Vector XL
Lampwick Uncut 4XL vs Vector (BD)

Minotaur – XXXL

Minotaur is a unique experience with the bulbous head that leads to a narrower and then wider shaft, the XXXL version here is not for beginners but it’s a toy worth considering.

What really stands out with Minotaur is the attention to detail with all texture and ridges. If the shape of the head wasn’t enough to satisfy you (it will be) the texture will get the job done. With nicely shaped and sized balls at the base he makes for a wonderfully enjoyable toy!

Like all my Hankey’s Toys I have this in 75% Soft, I’d recommend that firmness as it has a tiny amount of give but easily stands on its own. XXXL is the largest of the four sizes offered for the Minotaur.

 

Negatives: Like all the super large Hankey’s Toys the vac-u-lock style hole is pretty useless. The toy doesn’t stay firmly on the suction cup so it’s really only good for suctioning the toy to the floor.

Dimensions from MHT (inches):
Head (Diameter) – 3.26

Shaft (Diameter) – 4.17 (widest)

Total Length – 14.75

Buy Minotaur @ Hankey’s Toys

Hankey's Toys Minotaur Review Image
Minotaur – XXXL

“Feel it pop in before it fills you up!”

Hankey's Toys Minotaur XXXL vs Soda Can
Minotaur XXXL vs Soda Can

 

Hankey's Toys Minotaur vs 1 Liter Bottle
Minotaur XXXL vs 1 Liter Bottle

 

Hankey's Toys Minotaur XXXL vs Rentman XXXL
MHT Minotaur XXXL vs MHT Rentman XXXL